Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster

I didn't regret my decision to transfer to USC until today. It was a day like any other: I woke up after a restful 8 hours of sleep, ran to the gym, lifted, ran back, showered, and made breakfast; just a normal day, right? Incorrect.

It all started when I left for the airport to pickup Luke; I drove him over to Grandpa's house where he retrieved the rest of his gear and as a show of gratitude he offered to buy me lunch at the In-N-Out at the Francisquito exit off the I-10. I waded through traffic, one eye on the road, the other scanning the horizon for the yellow arrow. My search was soon rewarded and I merged over to the right lane and exited off, looping around and the under the freeway before pulling into the parking lot. As I stepped out of the car, my eye was drawn to a giant building in the same lot that said In-N-Out as well. Confused, I looked back at the original In-N-Out; it's drive through was packed as usual and people walked out of the swinging doors carrying their double-double's triumphantly in front of them like a banner of victory. In search of answers, I looked at back and saw another sign on the second, larger building that read, "In-N-Out University."

What?!

In-N-Out is in the business of higher education? How could I have missed this? I thought I'd made a thorough investigation of the best that Southern California had to offer, but it evaded me, and now was looking me smugly in the face. USC is a great school, but nothing compares to In-N-Out. You know they would be the most efficient school by a landslide; there would be a total of four majors, but they would have the best classes in the country and their professors would be world renowned. Obviously their apparel would sell through the roof, and their alumni would be loyal until death. They'd find a way to keep the tuition below average, but the product would still remain well above average. The faculty would be enthusiastic, amiable, and all dress the same.

Clearly I've missed my calling, but I intend to make redress for my mistakes and apply for admission in the Spring. It will be difficult; I hear spots and few and far between, but I aim to prove my infinite loyalty to the institution, and hope they will reward me with a spot in the class of 2010 (and a lifelong supply of # 1's).

INOU!