Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster

• Save the craters! They're quickly disappearing all over the moon's surface. No one wants a smooth orb. Preserve the "edgy look" for future moon-dwelling generations.


• Find a renewable resource to replace moon dust. Let's face it: the more astronauts that come to the moon, the more dust is taken back to the earth, never to return to its natural habitat. Besides, the stuff gets stuck in everything. Just ask Neal Armstrong about chafing in the nether regions.


• Stop solar eclipsing. Although previously thought to occur only during a new moon when the sun and moon are in conjunction, astronomists are now in almost total consensus that it is actually happening between 5 and 6 times per day! Experts have been quoted as saying "If we don't do something quickly, the moon will dissolve and we'll be screwed." Al Gore has started work on a documentary chronicling this potentially disastrous phenomenon tentatively titled The Dark Side of the Moon.

C'mon, people. Imagine a world where you can't play "Blue Moon" at classy parties because nobody knows what the moon really looked like. How will you explain to your kids that God trimmed his fingernail and it never grew back? Stop doing whatever it is that you're doing to harm the moon, whatever that may be, I'm not sure what I'm doing, but I'm definitely going to stop.

Forget the earth--save the moon!